Life After Divorce: 4 Tips For Successful Co-Parenting
If you have children with your ex, you must learn to coexist with your former spouse for the rest of your life. However, lingering pain can make effective co-parenting difficult. It won't necessarily always be easy, but you can do it for your children. Try these 4 tips for successful co-parenting to help you along the way.
Create a Stable Household For Your Children (And Yourself)
Immediately after your breakup, you establish a stable income and a comfortable home to show your ex and the court that you can provide for your children. If you don't have the means to provide a place to live immediately after the divorce, enlist the assistance of family members. Without a stable home, the courts may pause your parental rights and limit you to visitation.
To help you get yourself back on your feet, keep your mind open to mental health treatment and self-care. You need to get yourself into a good space mentally in order to manifest the things you need environmentally.
Keep Communications Civil
You may have some choice words for your ex, especially if they withhold access to your children out of spite. No matter what, you must keep all communications with your ex-civil. Never raise your voice or call your ex names, especially in front of the children. In fact, only speak well about your ex. Your calm demeanor and cooperative attitude will look good to the judge, and you will learn how to control your emotions for the future interactions you will have with each other.
Keep all communications solely about the children. Do not communicate in a personal capacity, as it can turn emotional. Some exes choose to communicate exclusively through an app that keeps all messages for safekeeping. Using the app, you don't even need to share contact information with your ex.
Obtain Formal Visitation and Child Support Agreements
Do not trust verbal agreements with your ex. Settle custody and child support in court to get everything laid out in black and white. Consider adding additional concerns to the agreement, such as stipulations against moving out of state or letting a new partner move in before 12 months of dating.
85% of child support providers are dads, but that doesn't mean that mothers automatically get custody. Both mothers and fathers need to prove their dedication to parenthood to the court. When both parents want to be actively involved in the child's life, most courts will make custody as equal as possible.
If you feel that the agreement isn't fair, don't argue with your ex. Simply take it to court and let the courts come to an agreement.
Get a quality divorce lawyer to help you with the different bumps in the road you'll experience over the next few years. For more information, contact a family lawyer near you.